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White Knuckle Parenting: The Costume Quandary

It's October, which means it is Halloween costume decision time. What does your kid want to be?

It is October, which means it is time to talk about Christmas. 

I'm kidding. I wouldn't do that to you. I'm going to talk about Halloween, specifically Halloween costumes. Some of your kids have had their hearts set on a certain costume for months and the more well-prepared among you have already purchased that costume.

Personally, I don't even start listening to what my kids want to be for Halloween until October, because if I paid attention before then, I would have bought 16 different costumes by now. My kids change their minds frequently. I have been on the losing side of a kid who refused to wear a costume too many times to fall for that again.

I miss the days when I could tell my kids what they were going to be and that was that. Not to mention that when they were younger, I could pass costumes down from one to another. All three of my kids wore the same frog costume when they were one. Unfortunately, they started to have their own opinions about their costumes shortly after that.

At first I thought that it was awesome that my kids were using their imaginations. When he was four, my oldest son made his first costume request. He wanted to be Swiper from Dora the Explorer. Now, I don't know if things have changed in the past seven years, but at the time, Swiper was a costume that did not exist. 

Of course.

It was my first costume request. So I did what naive first-time parents who don't sew do: I hired someone to sew him a Swiper costume. It was adorable. He looked great. It cost a billion and six dollars. I never did anything so stupid again.

When I was a kid, I think I made almost every single one of my costumes. I mean, I remember the occasional hard plastic mask, but for the most part, I cobbled costumes together from items that were in my house. I was a gypsy for three years in a row—mostly because I liked wearing my mom's gaudiest jewelry. My nerdiest costume may have been the year I was the Statue of Liberty. That costume did make it easy to carry a flashlight though—even if it was perpetually aimed at the sky.

I have made costumes for my kids as well. Two years ago, my middle son wanted to be a LEGO. That was just about the best costume in the world and it just cost me a stolen box, six cans of cat food, and some spray paint. In addition to making costumes, I have destroyed costumes to tailor them to what I need. For instance, I hacked the plush duck head off of a too-small duck costume for my youngest to wear as a hat in his Wonder Pets duck costume.

(He refused to wear the duck outfit on Halloween that year, but then wore the duck head hat and a green cape every day for an entire year. That was fun.)

Fortunately, most costumes are available in stores or online these days. Sadly, many of those costumes are only available in a "sexy" version, however. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a sexy Swiper costume by now. I'm just glad I have three boys. I don't think I could handle a teenage daughter at Halloween time.

At this point, my sons are happy to go to the thrift shop and settle for something available there. Bonus points if it comes with a foam weapon they don't already have. This year they have all expressed interest in being demon kings or demon ghosts or some similarly nebulous idea. I'm pretty sure we'll be able to find something appropriately dark colored and dreary for them.

Once you have the costume, most of your battle is over. Then all you have to do is convince your child to wear a coat over it to trick or treat. Good luck!

Jean, a.k.a. Stimey, writes a personal blog at Stimeyland; an autism-events website for Montgomery County, Maryland, at AutMont; and a column called Autism Unexpected in the Washington Times Communities. You can find her on Twitter as @Stimey.

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Tamika Smith (Editor) October 2, 2012 at 06:07 pm
How cute, marching heroes. :)
Stacy B. October 2, 2012 at 11:40 pm
My son is also ahead of the costume craze. He was Mario before it was in stores, and the only place you could find overalls was Tractor Supply. Last year he HAD to be the black angry bird, you know the one you cannot buy in stores. I learned to sew last year just to make him happy, 2 weeks before Halloween because he too cannot make up his mind.. This year he wants to be either a Lego Ninjago or Lego skeleton so I am on a mission to make Lego head that others will be in awe of.
Gayle Day October 3, 2012 at 05:12 am
My daughter wants to be a "parasite zombie." When I ask her what that is, she gives me an incredulous, how-can-my-mom-be-so-irredeemably-dense look and says, "It's a parasite. That got turned into a zombie."
Then I tell her that if she expected to have the sort of parent who can whip up creative, good-looking costumes from scratch, she was bound to be bitterly disappointed. But she's undaunted. "It doesn't matter if it looks bad. Then I can get pity candy." She's clever, that one.
Jean Winegardner October 3, 2012 at 04:51 pm
She is clever. I like that. Also, duh, a parasite zombie. C'mon. :)
Jean Winegardner October 3, 2012 at 04:52 pm
That's one of my favorite photos!
Jean Winegardner October 3, 2012 at 04:52 pm
You are a good mom. A really, really good mom.
Catherine Newnham October 3, 2012 at 11:43 pm
My biggest challenge was the year our youngest wanted to be Captain Underpants. In case you don't know him...he wears underpants...and a cape...and nothing else. It was cold and I had somehow to design a costume which wouldn't either give him pneumonia or get him (or me) arrested for public nakedness. I ended up dyeing a t-shirt and some long-johns a nude colour, which he wore over his normal clothes! It worked better than we'd hoped and he got his picture in the school paper wearing it, plus a bald wig!! Very funny photo.
Jean Winegardner October 4, 2012 at 01:51 am
I don't even know what I would do if my kid told me he wanted to be basically naked for Halloween. You are VERY clever!
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Susan S. Berkheimer June 5, 2013 at 05:40 pm
Thanks for the memories of our favorite park, Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The old wooden rollerRead More coaster was also our very favorite.There was also another favorite, much tamer Love Boat ride that went through a dark tunnel and then went up an incline and you got wet at the end of the ride. Visiting the Hershey Chocolate Factory was also a must on our trip to Hershey. We grew up in nearby York, PA.
Jean Winegardner June 5, 2013 at 05:54 pm
Oooh, that Love Boat ride sounds really fun! We didn't see that one. We definitely had quite anRead More experience there!
Susan S. Berkheimer June 5, 2013 at 06:09 pm
Going to Hershey Park had been a yearly event when we took our own three children to Hershey Park.Read More They loved it there,too. All three of our children are now married and have taken their children to Hershey Park. We have also been to Hershey, PA to the famous Hershey Car Show, where we purchased a 1994 Chrysler LeBaron convertible. I enjoyed reading your article.
Jean Winegardner May 23, 2013 at 01:35 am
Cori, you have no idea how much this helps. I just found out some of the details about the Geo BowlRead More and it sounds like a much better situation for my kiddo than I was originally imagining. I'm going to reach out to the team tonight. I imagine that they will be receptive to my worries. I'm hoping that all of the worst case scenarios are in my head and only in my head, which is probably likely. :) Maybe I'll see you at the Geo Bowl!
vero May 23, 2013 at 02:57 pm
Priming is key. You can also show him video on similar bowls. Pretend at home with family afterRead More finding out more or less how it will go the day of event. Encourage and prime/prep. How wonderful that he has come so far!
Jean Winegardner May 25, 2013 at 02:26 am
Great tips! And actually, thank you very much for the reminder that he has come really far. You'reRead More so right. And I'm so proud of him!
Catherine Newnham May 15, 2013 at 04:44 pm
Yes and yes to everything you say here. The reality of parenthood is simultaneously far far worseRead More and far far better than the fantasy could possibly be. The truth about living with multiple pairs of giant stinky man shoes should be enough to make most of us think twice about filling our houses with male offspring. And when did I sign up to help a hormonal 15 yr old write an impossible essay on a book he's not yet read, due in 3 days? It's lucky we love them so much is all I can say.