Giving Up Cursing for My Kids

"She tried to be funny." - My future epitaph.

Humor is hard. Especially the verbally-expressed kind.

It takes intelligence, planning, keeping up with current events and pop culture, and the ability to plug into your audience.

And you don't have to be a mom blogger, writer, or even a big time creative or journalist to realize the importance of humor in daily life. We all strive for it. Emails, Facebook wall posts, presentations, meetings, quick conversations with co-workers in the hall or fellow parents in the school parking lot all require adept funny bone skills.

Which is why it is often so easy to rely on the well-placed, sparingly-used curse word as a comedic crutch. Just one or two nicely-timed rated PG rated, OK-for-prime-time sorta-swear-words can really spice up the small talk and raise its reading on the Ha Ha! meter.

But now that I have two children who are cognizant of each and every word I say, and are apt to use these words themselves, at school! at church! in front of family!, it's time for me to up my game and clean up my act.

I've decided that it's important for me to once and for all purge all swear words—pseudo-swears and R-rated ones too—in my daily parenting. Of course I don't want the kids to say the words themselves.

I don't just fear my kids' outing me (my husband rarely swears, and never in front of children) as a foul-mouthed mama if they parrot my rhymes-with-lass a-bombs and other vocab choices. I truly want my children to grow up as verbally wholesome and genuinely hilarious as possible.

Because I sure don't like it when they use the words "toot" and "poopy" to make all the kids laugh at the lunch table. Not only will that bathroom talk get them in trouble, it's just lazy! They should be creating real jokes for their friends, and not just relying on lame-o potty words.

So I'm going to try and do the same. I'm trying to eliminate crude language, but still aim for funny when I connect with others.

I'll try it now.

OK.

Um.

Knock-knock?

Jessica McFadden can be found biting her tongue and writing about family at A Parent in Silver Spring.